Done being emo...(for now).

The last post was...a little too emo for me. And I WROTE the thing. But, hey. It was what I was feeling and, hello...I have an English degree. I totally buy that "if you write it down it helps" theory. But, today I've decided that being emo and sad is terribly overrated and I like myself more when I am up as opposed to down and so, today I begin again.

While I know that certain things will haunt me for a while, and that I will have more afternoons on a certain friends porch talking, crying, laughing, and even yelling, I also know that I am more than this. And, I deserve more than this. I know this because I have people tripping over themselves to tell me these things. And today, I choose to believe THEM instead of the words of another.

Big changes are coming. And, while I'm not sure exactly when, how, and even in what form some of these changes will be occurring in, I am OK. 23 is a good year for some changes, I think.

Plus, If I'm going to stick with this whole "Trust the Universe" thing...I better shut up and just do it. I'm not a big one for horoscopes, but the past two weeks mine have been spot on. It does make you wonder what kind of crazy cosmic stuff is happening out there...and how it might affect our daily lives (I mean...teachers and health care professionals, we can't deny the power of a full moon, can we?)

Today:
Whatever you do today might open doors that will benefit both you and those close to you. Gird your loins and do whatever needs to be done. Later you'll be glad you did.

Tomorrow: 
You feel especially focused right now, and your intellect and emotions are in accord with what you need to do to accomplish your goals. Your physical energy and enthusiasm are strong, as is your determination. Go for the gold. 

Like I said, big changes. And I will be a better person for it. 

Dark and Twisty.

Have you ever been so in love and certain and warm and fuzzy that you thought you might explode?

I mean happiness. Truly happy. Well I have. And it was wonderful and I was pretty sure that it was going to last forever.

And then something happened. The worst part is that I don't know what that something was. Suddenly what was there...and solid...is gone.

So, I've got a pretty bad case of the dark and twistys as I fluctuate between  seriously considering hopping in my car to try to figure this out....and knowing the right thing to do is nothing at all.

So, here I am. Still on the fence about where my life is going....only the one thing I was sure of is up and gone.

I'm not going to lie...part of me still has hope. But, hope or no hope, I'm going to keep living my life, not sit on the couch watching Grey's Anatomy and eating chocolate.

Well, maybe that will happen once or twice. But I won't let it be a habit. :)

The Quest for a Greater Metropolitan Area

Ok. So it's no big secret that my goal is to move back to Raleigh next year. Reasons are as follows:

1) I have had several "Get me to a greater metropolitan area immediately" moments. (If your name is not Anna Morgante, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about....unless I told you the story of course.)

2) My intention since before my internship was to live in Raleigh. You know, try my luck in the "big city".

3) I want to go to grad school and all the places I am interested in are in the Triangle.

4) I miss my (Raleigh) friends and all the cool stuff to do up there.

5) I am too damn liberal to live in New Bern.

So anyhow, I made this confession to share a story with you. I went to Raleigh for an interview. (Insert shocked gasp here if you ,like I , thought that Wake County was an impenetrable fortress into which no crazy mind control-resume sending power could penetrate.) It went well (I think) and I am, of course, hoping for a phone call to let me know one way or the other within the next two or three weeks.

Of course, now that I've written this blog...if I don't get the job, my humiliation will span far beyond the 3 dimensional people into cyberspace.

After the interview I got to hang out with Janine...(see aren't we cute)

and some of her friends....none of whom do I have a picture of. BUT, they pretty much look like this....

No? Don't believe me? Ok.

Anyhow...we go out to dinner/drinks/hang out on the patio while people watching in downtown Raleigh when amazing lady-waitress-type walks over and asks if we would like a menu. When given the affirmative she walks over with the menu, which she places on the table. Then, she proceeds to hand me a page-protected paper and asks me if I'd like to see something special.

"Only if it says, Dear Jen, you're gonna get a job next week."

Haha...required polite laughter...bahahawhah. "Well actually, it's just the specials menu....sorry."

Only a few minutes later she comes back with this

....custom made "specials" menu.

Meet reason number 6 I'm going to (someday) move back to Raleigh.


----

Reasons not to move,
1) JTB favorites.
2)....who needs another reason?

I'm going to Disney World! (oh yeah, Congrats Janine.)

I.Am.So.Excited. And by excited I mean "countdown on the calendar, reading reviews on the internet, using online maps to flag "places of interest", telling everyone who is standing still that I'm going to Disney World" excited.

I should probably mention that this entire trip was made possible by the four year toil of one, Janine Dube at an institution of higher learning. 

But, in my defense, I am not the only one that is excited. I enter into evidence the following photos...

I have serious concerns that Orlando is not ready for the likes of us. I mean, in four years we have never taken a "real" vacation together, and this could be EPIC. EPIC I tell you.

To paint you a picture....the last time I went on vacation (with BFF Anna), I ended up kayaking with an alligator. This also occurred in Florida as luck would have it. And we ARE staying at the French Quarter resort where the theme is Mardi Gras...and gators. What a theme.

So, If I seem a little distracted over the next 20 days of school (is the year really almost over?!?!) It's because I've gone to the Enchanted Castle in my mind.

Blogging = low man on totem pole. oops.

This blog was supposed to be an a-mazing way for me to vent and write down all of the awesome things that I am doing in this, my first year as a grown-up.

I. reek. of. failure.

Let me begin by confessing that today is NOT a good day for me to write a blog. I have a bad case of the whiney-ass-sads. And no, there is nothing you can do to help me out. I am just in the dark and twisty place and this will work itself out. I am stressing over some things that I have no control over and some things that I DO have control over and just don't know how to actually CONTROL them.

You dig?

Perhaps not. Perhaps everything I am typing is appearing in strange-premenstrual girl language that is only decipherable by soulmates (hello Anna), because I feel like my mouth is moving but nothing is making sense.

Maybe this is the reason why my 21 (holy *&^% that is a lot of kids) first graders stared at me today as if they had never before heard this strange direction I was giving them like, "Put your name on your paper", or "go get your bookbag to pack up" and the ever important "Do NOT put that in the toilet, you will flood the bathroom."

No, you can't make this stuff up.


I have this not-so-unfounded fear that tomorrow my administrators will find me unconscious amid a ring of seven year olds clad in face paint belting an incantation and waving their safety scissors.

Tonight is a good night to watch Bridget Jones and laugh at a woman that has way more issues (albeit hilarious issues) than I do. Alas, tonight is Tuesday which means it's time for LOST.

But, maybe that's better. Let's face it. Those guys are way more screwed than any of us.

St. Patrick's Day Debauchary- Elementary School Style,

Ok. So I L-O-V-E St. Patty's day at my school. My mom was a ringleader in this whole shebang years ago, and ever since St. Patty's day has been an excuse to have your room TRASHED and make the kids clean it up.

Oh yeah, and they think it's really cool. SCORE.

So we started by studying Ireland and St. Patrick's day. Of course, I had to leave out my whole, "St Patrick really just tried to get people to dump their own religion and study his and I am against this" schpeal.

My kids all had to build leprechaun traps. (ok.) Out of recyclables (nifty). Using our science curriculum- to trip the trap something had to be pushed or pulled OR something had to be balanced using equal forces on both sides (WOW, Jen, you are a genius).

My kids had the best time. They had to work in groups to create a plan, explain it to me...and then they could begin building it.

Of course, we had pickles delivered from O'Mally's Bait Factory in Dublin Ireland. Why you ask? Leprechauns love pickles silly.

We left the traps up overnight. The next morning I was of course running late and so was my assistant oddly enough. So we had to wait until after the bell to unlock the door and all go in together. Funny how that happened.

The kids were losing their minds because there were these strange tiny green footprints on our door, on the water fountain, and in the hallway.

We opened the door to unholy destruction. If you don't believe me, check it out.

Please note the little green footprints on the floor. These were also on desks, walls etc. BUT these pictures are on my phone and I'm to lazy right now to load them up.

However, all of this led to this general reaction from my kids.

It. Was. Awesome. (also, please notice the amazing cops-style identity concealer. HAH. )

So, we didn't catch a leprechaun. But we did get terrorized by one. One of my kids ACTUALLY caught his jacket. Right in his ingenious little trap. And if you think he wasn't excited when he found this tiny little jacket, well, you would be stupid.

Even though it took us 40 minutes to get the room clean, it was totally worth it. After all, the little bastard did leave us some Hawaiian Punch and a wee bit 'o the rainbow...Skittles!

Not to mention my kids were so super into it, and they remember the motion science behind it.

But no. Really. It was all about the Skittles.

A Very Open Letter to Fred Phelps *Warning* Pissed off Girl at Keyboard

Dear Mr. Phelps,

Today at the gym, I happened to catch a story about you on the news. I was very sad about this because I had probably gone a whole six months without having my blood boil, which, I'm not sure if you're aware, is very bad for my blood pressure and also my attitude. I did want to thank you for one thing though, I got so pissed off while listening to this story that I worked out twice as hard, burned 1 billion calories, and am that much closer to fitting into a bathing suit that doesn't resemble a boat sail. So, snaps for you on that one.

I find it incredibly ironic that you are protesting the funerals of these soldiers that gave their lives in service. Number one, I am NOT a war supporter. Nope. Nada. Nothing. That said, I have NOTHING but respect for the men and women that choose to give up some of their autonomy to serve something that they feel called to do. And, for totally selfish reasons, I appreciate what they do because it means I don't have to. Also, I really enjoy being able to walk around feeling safe and secure...living my life the way I CHOOSE because these brave people gave their time, dedication, and even their lives.

This brings me to the irony- the very institution that you are mocking is the institution that protects your right to hold that hateful sign.  Chew on that for a while.

Also, I'd really like you to diagram for me why your version of god is killing all these soldiers because he is mad at gay people. Number one, how exactly are the two connected? And number two, could I listen to the voicemail/read the memo in which he expressed to you his hatred/ire towards the gay and lesbian community and threatened to start killing folk for digging Cher/Birkenstocks/Individuals of the same gender? I mean, I can make sense of a Charles Dickens novel like PRESTO and, let me tell you, that guy rambles AND has about a million characters in his epic novels. So, the fact that I can't follow your logic really works a nerve.

Oh wait. No it doesn't. Because if I could follow your logic I would be as hateful as you are.

I do NOT respect your opinion. However, I do respect your right to have one. I just find it incredibly inappropriate that you find memorial services a good time to protest. Preach your message from your pulpit and let the families have time to grieve. Since I hear you are really big on this religion thing, lets review some of the Biblical passages that highlight loving your fellow man, shall we?

Or did you skip those parts. Along with the new testament with all the stuff about "forgiveness"?  You can't pick and choose your favorite parts of the Bible, Ace. Taking things out of context is a no-go in religion, politics, journalism, and communication in general.

However, it is pretty easy to recognize the context of your signs. Hatred.

Let me end by offering you an invitation. If you are so unsatisfied with our country, please feel free to go and live elsewhere. I promise promise PROMISE that my liberal, diversity loving tushie will NOT come looking for you.

Sincerely,

a supporter of free thinking, kindness, and unity