If you'll let me...

Teachers are not out to "get" your kids. I promise. Now, I'm not saying there aren't a few bad apples out there. All you have to do is watch the news to see this. But for the 99 percent, we are there because we have something we really believe in- making a difference. Leaving the planet a better place than we found it. 

You can say "Oh, most people just do it for the vacations." And I will tell you how incredibly ridiculous that claim is. Those weeks off in June in July- or those track outs spread throughout the year- are in NO WAY compensation for what we do every day. 

I'm not saying we have the hardest job. I can't imagine being a doctor and holding human life in my own hands. I can't imagine running a large company and being responsible for the well being of my employees and their families. What I am saying, is that we work hard for what we earn. We work on and off the clock. We spend our own money to make things happen in our classroom. We work after hours at home. We work early mornings before the bell rings. We think about our classrooms before we fall asleep at night, while we are cooking dinner, while we are grocery shopping, and while we are struggling to pay our bills. 

Teaching is more than just a job. For most, it's something that we take with us. For most, it's something we struggle to find a balance with. For most, it's something we take very personally. 

When my students succeed, I succeed. When my students fail, I fail. 

I've been known to cry at each event- in equal measure. 

We bandage knees and give hugs. We give discipline and teach self control. We worry about their self confidence. We teach them it's ok to make mistakes and that the only failure is giving up. And sometimes, we do the one thing that drives parents and students alike CRAZY.....

WE SAY NO.

Every day I use my experience and education to try and make the best decisions for each child in my room.  I am human. I make mistakes. Sometimes I speak too sharply, and too quickly. But please rest assured I do my very best to make sure that those times are the exception- not the rule. Be kind and forgive me if I forget something. For though I understand that I am taking care of your baby you must understand that I am taking care of one of my 21 babies- and each and every one deserves my attention. My UNDIVDED attention at that.

I can think of few professions where so many people outside the profession seek to tell us how to run our days and our classrooms. The most important ingredient for success- TRUST.

Advocate for your child, always, for this is your job. But please, I beg, trust me. Give me the benefit of the doubt. Work WITH me. Ask questions and listen- and I will listen in return. Allow me to try to use what I know to help your child grow. Give me time. For, I promise, we will get much farther working together than we will struggling against each other.

I do not go to work to answer e-mails, chart data, write behavior reports, and file papers. I go to work because I believe that I was born to do this. Because I believe that I can teach, challenge, and love your child right on into the next grade. I believe that I can teach your child a whole lot and I believe your child can teach me even more.

If you'll let me.

A Triumphant Return!

Since my west coast best friend (Now East Coast Best Friend again!!) is keeping up with her BLOG, I have to try and keep up. At least a little. Although her life is far more exciting than mine.

I kicked off my track out with N.C. State graduation, where I watched my mother in law graduate with her DOCTORATE in Adult Education. I can't even imagine the work and dedication that requires. Once graduation was over I headed to New Bern to spend some time with Mom and Granny for Mother's Day. It's been a great trip, and I'm heading back to Raleigh tomorrow.

I did get some "official' business handled here in New Bern. I had my criminal background check completed so that when I return to Raleigh I can get started on this whole name change business. There are a few extra steps since I don't have a marriage license, but, I have to say I'm really excited at the thought of being Mrs. Seha next year at school. I also have to look at the bigger picture and imagine the added stability that sharing a last name might afford my family one day in the future.

When I get back home it's time to get my knee checked out (OUCH) so that I can keep working on my goal for this next 5K - I want to shave two minutes off of my last time. One of my New Year's Resolutions was to run a 5K, so I'm really proud that I've already completed one. I hope to do 3 or 4 more before the end of the year (given the Dr. gives me the all clear!)

Perhaps over track out I will think of something incredibly poetic to say (although right now all I can think of is THANK GOODNESS this school  year is almost over!).  The only good news is this year has made me a lot tougher than I used to be.

I'll be back soon, I promise!

I.Love.Books.

I love to read. I've always loved to read. In fact there are some fairly embarrassing pictures of me (somewhere in my mom's house)  reading in the bathtub when I was little. (No, I don't want to talk about it). In general, when I was younger, the books I read were usually bigger than I was.

Fast forward 16 years and some days I hardly have time to pee, much less enjoy a novel.

Well, track out is a beautiful thing people. I've spent some time getting reacquainted with the public library. Now, I have a Kindle (although the screen is slightly warped after a minor incident involving a clothes hamper) and there is so much to be said for this little invention...especially when traveling! BUT there is just something about holding a book (paperback is my preference) and snuggling down in the bed or on the couch with a cup of coffee. Or sitting outside on the porch. Or floating on a floatie in the pool. Or waiting in a Dr.'s office. You get the point.

The genius of the matter is I live in between two libraries. One is very small- I love that the librarians already know my face. The other is HUGE- I love that I can find ANYTHING. So, depending on if I am feeling more Mayberry or Big City I can choose my destination.

It also helps that libraries offer free services. And, except for about a week and a half at the beginning of the month...I.Am.Always.Watching.Pennies.

Anyhow, because I am also slightly obsessive (just ask Crystal), I found a website where I can track my new reads. My goal is to read three books every track out (that's one a week). And in an effort to seem technologically savvy, I added my online bookshelf to my blog. (this is an electronic TA-DA.)

So, I said all this to say this...

No 1. If you went to a women's college (ahem...Meredith friends) read the book Commencement. It is very likely that you will find yourself reading about friends- or at least recognize some traits of your friends. It also highlights the public perception of a women's college steeped in tradition (tea parties, father daughter dances, etc) with changes and subcultures (feminism and homosexuality) all with a resounding focus on the relationships that are built, broken down, and recreated from the ashes. AH-MAZE-ING.


No 2. I've loved Jodi Piccoult since way before she sold her soul to Lifetime and started making crappy movies based on her books. But I was really excited to read her newest book, House Rules. It is about  a boy with Asperger's Syndrome - which fascinates me to the core. Piccoult always writes her novels from multiple points of view, so I was intrigued to see how she would represent a person with Asperger's. She drew her inspiration from a young lady with the diagnosis. The parts of the book from that perspective were my favorite- they were funny, they were infuriating, they were to the point. They represented the spectrum disorder with honesty and respect. BUT, overall, the book was a little underwhelming. I'm sure it will make a fascinating (yawn) sappy (ick) Lifetime movie one day.

So there you are, my professional report on books you probably never wanted to hear about. Hey, I was feeling literary today. I just found out that my sweet babies at school raised their average reading words per minute by over 30 words since the fall.

Who's the reading master now!?

I'm BAAACKK.

Ok...so let's talk IRONY for a sec. When you have nothing going on in your life (and therefore lots of time to sit and type away at a computer) you have nothing to write about. Yet, when you have a lot of things going on in life, you can't find the time or energy to get it all written down.

That was my long winded way of saying, holy crap, I've been busy and BLOG has been low man on totem pole. I have, however, faithfully stalked my favorites.

Right now my life schedule consists of school, camp, gym, eat, sleep. Shower, rinse, repeat.

Except for when I am cooing over my new favorite person in the world.

I'm absolutely afraid to reproduce now because I'm 99% sure that no baby can be cuter than this one. I'm just sayin.


In other news, school rules my life when I'm tracked in. Four more weeks until I can be me again for a while. :)

Sometime, when it's not 1 AM, i'll tell you all about my amazingfabulousrocksmyface after school job. :)

Overboard?

I complain about my job... a lot. So let me start off with a dose of cute for you. Prepare for a Centimeter Creature. My kids had to create a creature...later they had to measure the arms, legs, tentacles etc. for practice with a ruler. They got wayyy into it. It was awesome.

They always told us in school that one way to get kids interested is to make things relevant for them. So I try to use people and events in my life to make connections for the kids. Example: They know all about lovely Luka because I use him in writing frequently. He's had more poems written about him than any other dog can claim. Seriously. So when I had to teach letter writing I planned, drafted, edited, and revised a letter to my dearest friend Anna- ever so gently asking her to return to NC. (It was a letter of REQUEST after all.)

Then a few days later I had a little bullying incident in my classroom. I borrowed a genius lesson plan from my coworkers that involves drawing a picture of your best friend. As you talk to your best friend you give her compliments and add smiles and rainbows and sunshine. Then you start to say mean things to her instead. Each time you say something mean, you crumple her up a little until she is wadded into a little ball of paper. Then, you slowly start to apologize for everything you said. You flatten her out as best you can and ask the kids "What's different now?" With eyes as wide as saucers my kids replied that Anna was all wrinkly because I was mean to her. Even though I apologized to her and she flattened out SOME...I will never get her all smooth again. And THAT'S because every time you say a mean thing to someone you leave a tiny wrinkle in them that never goes away- even if you apologize. They may forgive you but its important to remember that  mean words can hurt forever.

 

(Insert Full House music here.)

It. Was. Awesome.

It wasn't until this past weekend when I was looking through my kids'  center work from the week that I realized I may have gone a little "Anna-Crazy" in my room.  Check it out.

 

But, hey, I guess it means they are listening. Sometimes.

Reasons I am ancient:

I.AM.OFFICIALLY.OLD(ish). 

1. I mentioned a "tape" in front of my kids today. Response: NONE. They don't know what that means.

2. Life before cell phones...my kids don't understand the concept.
"Well...what if your mom was at the store and you realized you needed something. How did you tell her?"
"You didn't. She was at the store. Without a phone."
..."HUH?" 

3. "Look at the chart and tell me what year Finding Nemo was released."
"OOH...2003! Hey wait, that's the year I was born!"
(Didn't that movie just come out YESTERDAY?!?)

4. Plugging a computer into  a phone jack= barbaric. They don't have any recollection of the noises computers USED to make as the connected to the internet.





5. I have to actually work to stay relevant. If I want to have a conversation about music, video games,  or TV..I have to RESEARCH it first. This means I am spending my own time to make sure I am up to date on Justin "Beaver" (no lie...that's what my kids think his name is) and Lego Star Wars.

6. DVR. They don't get that watching HOURS of mindless television wasn't always as easy as it is now.



7. Recycling. They asked me "Ms. Paul if everyone had started recycling back when you were little, do you think you could have stopped the hole in the ozone?" I am so old my generation is responsible for a HOLE IN THE ATMOSPHERE OF THE EARTH. (well, at least partially responsible....before we were old enough to know better.)


8. I could think of more, but it's almost 7 which is universal blue-haired bedtime.

Things I've learned from my student...

1) Shoes are important. Every single day of school my friend W finds some way to comment on or compliment my shoes. As if I needed more reasons to purchase footwear....

2) Always take the time to say something nice. W goes out of her way to say something nice to me every day. For example- the shoes. On a regular basis she finds something nice to say about my hair, what I taught that day...or even just say thank you for a hug.

3) Anything worth having is worth fighting for. W fights for every single skill and every single fact that she can claim mastery of. She works and works hard for everything she gets out of my classroom. Because of this- it all means more for her. At the end of the day she is PROUD because she EARNED it.

4) Sidewalk chalk cures all ills. Ok, so this is a metaphor. But seriously, simple things can brighten up an entire day for W. So why focus on the negative when there is (figuratively speaking) a bright new box of sidewalk chalk on the shelf  just waiting to be opened.

5) If it's out of your control...let it go. There are lots of things W has no control over. NONE. But, rather than get all worked up over things she can't change, she puts all her energy towards the things she can change. Like making sure that her friend T, who is having a bad day, smiles at least once before she goes home.

6) Own your dreams. W has a lot of dreams. Some of them may never happen. I know teachers aren't supposed to say things like this but...it's likely quite a few of them will never happen. IT DOESN'T MATTER. Her dreams are her own and she is going to keep on dreaming them. period. end of sentence. No one, but yourself, can damage your dreams. 

A lot to take in from a 7 year old...no?

Playing Susie Homemaker

Track-Out has taught me one thing...

I have sick deluded fantasies of being a housewife. And I don't mean the ass-kicking, name-taking,  efficient, volunteering, van driving, powerwalking, dry-clean picking-uping kind of housewife. I mean the black and white kind that were frequently featured on nick at nite.

This week I've gotten a lot of grown up things accomplished you know things involving insurance, gas companies, mechanics, and payroll at HR. Like BORING grown up stuff. I did manage to make it to the gym at least. :)

But then, when that is finished, I start cleaning up around the house. Folding laundry, vacuuming the floor, loading/unloading the dishwasher, taking care of my furkid....etc. Then, about 30 minutes before Crystal gets off of work I put dinner in the oven and go get myself cleaned up.

So to sum it up, when she walks in the door dinner is ready, the house is clean, the (fur)kid is happy and quiet, and I am (mildly) presentable. Usually dinner is served on the couch in front of the current Netflix obsession.

Add some pearls and an up-do and it begins to more closely resemble Cleaver-ville. Albeit slightly non conventional Cleaver-ville....but you follow.

And you know, I think it's ok that I'm enjoying this little fantasy of mine. My mind  and body needed a break from the stresses of moving, starting a new job, and dealing with all the changes in my life.

But, who knew that under my liberal and feminist exterior lurked just a touch of a traditionalist? Certainly, not me.

Friday night in the big city...?

Ok. So for the entire 11 months I lived in New Bern I talked (nonstop) about all the things I missed about Raleigh. All the things to DO and places to GO. I couldn't WAIT to get back.

So it makes absolute sense that last Friday night I got together with some of my favorites and we decided to THROW DOWN. That's right folks. You heard it here first. SCRABBLE.

Scrabble?

Eesh.

We started out with a nice dinner at Tripp's (yummmm) and took the required "This is us sitting in a booth about to eat food prepared by the hands of others" photos.

Once those photos were out of the way we commenced with our dinner. After things really got out of control. Yep, that's when the board games entered the scene.

And we had really awesome luck the WHOLE GAME. See. Proof. 

At one point, Kelly decided her time would be much better spent as an Eastern Princess. Fortunately she was wearing some bohemian jewelery that stood in nicely for a crown.

Once she was done playing princess she put down some words. Turns out we are not so dumb after all.

And, I won...therefore the evening ended happily.

And such is the life of a twenty something, on a Friday night....in the big city.
And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Today is a good day. Today I feel like I am adequate at my job and maybe I made a difference in the life of my students.

There are days where it is very easy to forget why I became a teacher. The days that paperwork outweighs the time I spent with my kids. The days the kids talked more than I taught. The days that Autism, ADHD, sensory disorders, and learning disabilities seem insurmountable rather than just a part of the package.

Today was not one of those days. Today I laughed with my students, played with my students, and learned with my students. I was a math expert, a reading consultant, a caterpillar wrangler, and a sidewalk chalk artist. I was a mediator, a therapist, a first aid aficionado, an organizational consultant, a hairdresser, a cheerleader, a peacekeeper, and a traffic director. Before and after school I also managed to be a professional, a collaborator, a data collector, and even a friend as I sat and laughed with my team.

Today I remembered why it is all worth it. I remembered why I love my job.

Today I realized how lucky I am to be where I want to be, with the friends I chose for myself, in a profession I was meant to be a part of.

If that wasn't enough- this is what I came home to yesterday...

And on top of all of that- my apartment is clean. Clearly the planets are aligned.
(The only thing missing is YOU, Anna Morgante)

A (less than) triumphant return

Ok. So I had dreams of being this amazing blogger. I wanted to be (internet)famous which, seriously, is the only kind of famous that even matters anymore.

But alas. My real, 3-D, grown up life has taken over my dreams of digital stardom, which I suppose just means  I finally got that "life" i've been trying to acquire since graduating from college. In actuality I guess celebrations are in order.

So, updates.

New Job, 1.
Offers to return to old job part time (hello caffeine!), 1 
New apartments, 1
Number of storage bins still containing classroom stuff, one million
School nights spent going to bed at a reasonable hour rather than hanging out with fabulous Raleigh type friends....um 2.

Seriously though. Iamsobusy. It's ridiculous. School is and always will be a beast at the beginning of the year. This year has been even worse because, well, hello new school, new county, new grade level, new school calendar. I'm finally starting to feel like I'm gaining on some things rather than just treading water. And this is doubly a good thing. Not only is this good for my career but it makes me a muuuuuuch nicer person to be around. I am looking forward to the return of fun "I love to be a teacher but I have a life outside of school" Jen as opposed to "RAHH I am so stressed out I don't have time to talk to you about anything but how stressed out I am" Jen.

Plus plus plus...I track out in THREE WEEKS. Count 'em. My track out includes- nights with fabulous Raleigh type people, a trip to CALIFORNIA to visit a displaced awesome Raleigh type person, and a roadtrip to Edenton to watch a friend get hitched.  And even after all of that I will still have time to write lesson plans/stalk facebook/get back to the gym/ abuse netflix/ terrorize my favorite New Bernians for the start of their school year. Lovehappylovelove.

Some old guy once said "It's not where you are but who you're with." Weellllll...I do agree that who you are with has a lot to do with how you feel. But sometimes where you are makes a big difference too. I love my hometown and alllllll my friends and family there. But, for me, it was too hard to be a grown up in the place where I grew up. Here I feel like I can be just a little more "me"....whatever that means these days.

So anyhow, I'm semi-settled and realizing that after agonizing over every life choice I've made in the past month (which has been an unusually high number for such a short period of time) that I've made good ones. I still have a lot to figure out....but at least now I believe that I can do it.

So I'm not internet famous...but I'm happy. Beat that.  <3

(School) Year End Summary

August to June flew by...in some respects. In others it felt like the end of the year would never come. However, looking back on the year it's crazy to think how much stuff happened.

Number of moves, 2
Total first graders taught, 23
Largest class size at any one time, 21
Kids that tested my patience beyond any practical limit, 2 
Assessments given, 1,000,000
Nose Bleeds (not mine..the kids!), oh, tons. 
Children with (regularly) wet pants, 2 
Ringworm (mine), 2
Bronchitis (mine), 2
Pneumonia (mine), 2
JTB Favorites, 6
Pounds lost, approx. 30
Interviews, 2
Job Offers, 2 
New Beginning, 1

I am so nervous for what is to come, but I can't help but be excited too. Good things are to come. Sometimes you have to let go of something good because something better is around the corner. (I'll just keep telling myself that. :)

Done being emo...(for now).

The last post was...a little too emo for me. And I WROTE the thing. But, hey. It was what I was feeling and, hello...I have an English degree. I totally buy that "if you write it down it helps" theory. But, today I've decided that being emo and sad is terribly overrated and I like myself more when I am up as opposed to down and so, today I begin again.

While I know that certain things will haunt me for a while, and that I will have more afternoons on a certain friends porch talking, crying, laughing, and even yelling, I also know that I am more than this. And, I deserve more than this. I know this because I have people tripping over themselves to tell me these things. And today, I choose to believe THEM instead of the words of another.

Big changes are coming. And, while I'm not sure exactly when, how, and even in what form some of these changes will be occurring in, I am OK. 23 is a good year for some changes, I think.

Plus, If I'm going to stick with this whole "Trust the Universe" thing...I better shut up and just do it. I'm not a big one for horoscopes, but the past two weeks mine have been spot on. It does make you wonder what kind of crazy cosmic stuff is happening out there...and how it might affect our daily lives (I mean...teachers and health care professionals, we can't deny the power of a full moon, can we?)

Today:
Whatever you do today might open doors that will benefit both you and those close to you. Gird your loins and do whatever needs to be done. Later you'll be glad you did.

Tomorrow: 
You feel especially focused right now, and your intellect and emotions are in accord with what you need to do to accomplish your goals. Your physical energy and enthusiasm are strong, as is your determination. Go for the gold. 

Like I said, big changes. And I will be a better person for it. 

Dark and Twisty.

Have you ever been so in love and certain and warm and fuzzy that you thought you might explode?

I mean happiness. Truly happy. Well I have. And it was wonderful and I was pretty sure that it was going to last forever.

And then something happened. The worst part is that I don't know what that something was. Suddenly what was there...and solid...is gone.

So, I've got a pretty bad case of the dark and twistys as I fluctuate between  seriously considering hopping in my car to try to figure this out....and knowing the right thing to do is nothing at all.

So, here I am. Still on the fence about where my life is going....only the one thing I was sure of is up and gone.

I'm not going to lie...part of me still has hope. But, hope or no hope, I'm going to keep living my life, not sit on the couch watching Grey's Anatomy and eating chocolate.

Well, maybe that will happen once or twice. But I won't let it be a habit. :)

The Quest for a Greater Metropolitan Area

Ok. So it's no big secret that my goal is to move back to Raleigh next year. Reasons are as follows:

1) I have had several "Get me to a greater metropolitan area immediately" moments. (If your name is not Anna Morgante, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about....unless I told you the story of course.)

2) My intention since before my internship was to live in Raleigh. You know, try my luck in the "big city".

3) I want to go to grad school and all the places I am interested in are in the Triangle.

4) I miss my (Raleigh) friends and all the cool stuff to do up there.

5) I am too damn liberal to live in New Bern.

So anyhow, I made this confession to share a story with you. I went to Raleigh for an interview. (Insert shocked gasp here if you ,like I , thought that Wake County was an impenetrable fortress into which no crazy mind control-resume sending power could penetrate.) It went well (I think) and I am, of course, hoping for a phone call to let me know one way or the other within the next two or three weeks.

Of course, now that I've written this blog...if I don't get the job, my humiliation will span far beyond the 3 dimensional people into cyberspace.

After the interview I got to hang out with Janine...(see aren't we cute)

and some of her friends....none of whom do I have a picture of. BUT, they pretty much look like this....

No? Don't believe me? Ok.

Anyhow...we go out to dinner/drinks/hang out on the patio while people watching in downtown Raleigh when amazing lady-waitress-type walks over and asks if we would like a menu. When given the affirmative she walks over with the menu, which she places on the table. Then, she proceeds to hand me a page-protected paper and asks me if I'd like to see something special.

"Only if it says, Dear Jen, you're gonna get a job next week."

Haha...required polite laughter...bahahawhah. "Well actually, it's just the specials menu....sorry."

Only a few minutes later she comes back with this

....custom made "specials" menu.

Meet reason number 6 I'm going to (someday) move back to Raleigh.


----

Reasons not to move,
1) JTB favorites.
2)....who needs another reason?

I'm going to Disney World! (oh yeah, Congrats Janine.)

I.Am.So.Excited. And by excited I mean "countdown on the calendar, reading reviews on the internet, using online maps to flag "places of interest", telling everyone who is standing still that I'm going to Disney World" excited.

I should probably mention that this entire trip was made possible by the four year toil of one, Janine Dube at an institution of higher learning. 

But, in my defense, I am not the only one that is excited. I enter into evidence the following photos...

I have serious concerns that Orlando is not ready for the likes of us. I mean, in four years we have never taken a "real" vacation together, and this could be EPIC. EPIC I tell you.

To paint you a picture....the last time I went on vacation (with BFF Anna), I ended up kayaking with an alligator. This also occurred in Florida as luck would have it. And we ARE staying at the French Quarter resort where the theme is Mardi Gras...and gators. What a theme.

So, If I seem a little distracted over the next 20 days of school (is the year really almost over?!?!) It's because I've gone to the Enchanted Castle in my mind.

Blogging = low man on totem pole. oops.

This blog was supposed to be an a-mazing way for me to vent and write down all of the awesome things that I am doing in this, my first year as a grown-up.

I. reek. of. failure.

Let me begin by confessing that today is NOT a good day for me to write a blog. I have a bad case of the whiney-ass-sads. And no, there is nothing you can do to help me out. I am just in the dark and twisty place and this will work itself out. I am stressing over some things that I have no control over and some things that I DO have control over and just don't know how to actually CONTROL them.

You dig?

Perhaps not. Perhaps everything I am typing is appearing in strange-premenstrual girl language that is only decipherable by soulmates (hello Anna), because I feel like my mouth is moving but nothing is making sense.

Maybe this is the reason why my 21 (holy *&^% that is a lot of kids) first graders stared at me today as if they had never before heard this strange direction I was giving them like, "Put your name on your paper", or "go get your bookbag to pack up" and the ever important "Do NOT put that in the toilet, you will flood the bathroom."

No, you can't make this stuff up.


I have this not-so-unfounded fear that tomorrow my administrators will find me unconscious amid a ring of seven year olds clad in face paint belting an incantation and waving their safety scissors.

Tonight is a good night to watch Bridget Jones and laugh at a woman that has way more issues (albeit hilarious issues) than I do. Alas, tonight is Tuesday which means it's time for LOST.

But, maybe that's better. Let's face it. Those guys are way more screwed than any of us.

St. Patrick's Day Debauchary- Elementary School Style,

Ok. So I L-O-V-E St. Patty's day at my school. My mom was a ringleader in this whole shebang years ago, and ever since St. Patty's day has been an excuse to have your room TRASHED and make the kids clean it up.

Oh yeah, and they think it's really cool. SCORE.

So we started by studying Ireland and St. Patrick's day. Of course, I had to leave out my whole, "St Patrick really just tried to get people to dump their own religion and study his and I am against this" schpeal.

My kids all had to build leprechaun traps. (ok.) Out of recyclables (nifty). Using our science curriculum- to trip the trap something had to be pushed or pulled OR something had to be balanced using equal forces on both sides (WOW, Jen, you are a genius).

My kids had the best time. They had to work in groups to create a plan, explain it to me...and then they could begin building it.

Of course, we had pickles delivered from O'Mally's Bait Factory in Dublin Ireland. Why you ask? Leprechauns love pickles silly.

We left the traps up overnight. The next morning I was of course running late and so was my assistant oddly enough. So we had to wait until after the bell to unlock the door and all go in together. Funny how that happened.

The kids were losing their minds because there were these strange tiny green footprints on our door, on the water fountain, and in the hallway.

We opened the door to unholy destruction. If you don't believe me, check it out.

Please note the little green footprints on the floor. These were also on desks, walls etc. BUT these pictures are on my phone and I'm to lazy right now to load them up.

However, all of this led to this general reaction from my kids.

It. Was. Awesome. (also, please notice the amazing cops-style identity concealer. HAH. )

So, we didn't catch a leprechaun. But we did get terrorized by one. One of my kids ACTUALLY caught his jacket. Right in his ingenious little trap. And if you think he wasn't excited when he found this tiny little jacket, well, you would be stupid.

Even though it took us 40 minutes to get the room clean, it was totally worth it. After all, the little bastard did leave us some Hawaiian Punch and a wee bit 'o the rainbow...Skittles!

Not to mention my kids were so super into it, and they remember the motion science behind it.

But no. Really. It was all about the Skittles.

A Very Open Letter to Fred Phelps *Warning* Pissed off Girl at Keyboard

Dear Mr. Phelps,

Today at the gym, I happened to catch a story about you on the news. I was very sad about this because I had probably gone a whole six months without having my blood boil, which, I'm not sure if you're aware, is very bad for my blood pressure and also my attitude. I did want to thank you for one thing though, I got so pissed off while listening to this story that I worked out twice as hard, burned 1 billion calories, and am that much closer to fitting into a bathing suit that doesn't resemble a boat sail. So, snaps for you on that one.

I find it incredibly ironic that you are protesting the funerals of these soldiers that gave their lives in service. Number one, I am NOT a war supporter. Nope. Nada. Nothing. That said, I have NOTHING but respect for the men and women that choose to give up some of their autonomy to serve something that they feel called to do. And, for totally selfish reasons, I appreciate what they do because it means I don't have to. Also, I really enjoy being able to walk around feeling safe and secure...living my life the way I CHOOSE because these brave people gave their time, dedication, and even their lives.

This brings me to the irony- the very institution that you are mocking is the institution that protects your right to hold that hateful sign.  Chew on that for a while.

Also, I'd really like you to diagram for me why your version of god is killing all these soldiers because he is mad at gay people. Number one, how exactly are the two connected? And number two, could I listen to the voicemail/read the memo in which he expressed to you his hatred/ire towards the gay and lesbian community and threatened to start killing folk for digging Cher/Birkenstocks/Individuals of the same gender? I mean, I can make sense of a Charles Dickens novel like PRESTO and, let me tell you, that guy rambles AND has about a million characters in his epic novels. So, the fact that I can't follow your logic really works a nerve.

Oh wait. No it doesn't. Because if I could follow your logic I would be as hateful as you are.

I do NOT respect your opinion. However, I do respect your right to have one. I just find it incredibly inappropriate that you find memorial services a good time to protest. Preach your message from your pulpit and let the families have time to grieve. Since I hear you are really big on this religion thing, lets review some of the Biblical passages that highlight loving your fellow man, shall we?

Or did you skip those parts. Along with the new testament with all the stuff about "forgiveness"?  You can't pick and choose your favorite parts of the Bible, Ace. Taking things out of context is a no-go in religion, politics, journalism, and communication in general.

However, it is pretty easy to recognize the context of your signs. Hatred.

Let me end by offering you an invitation. If you are so unsatisfied with our country, please feel free to go and live elsewhere. I promise promise PROMISE that my liberal, diversity loving tushie will NOT come looking for you.

Sincerely,

a supporter of free thinking, kindness, and unity

And so it begins...

There is something amazingly-fab about the first few sunny and warmish days of spring. Now, I know that this weather is surely taunting me and we will have one more cold snap before it is all said and done. But for right now, I am ignoring the innate fick-ality of mother nature and am simply reveling in the fact that my windows are open and my whole room smells like sunshine.

I was super excited that I got to work out OUTSIDE and not stuck in the gym watching Fox News. Now, I really do like going to the gym. However, if I have to watch one more news story on the dangers of the internet/healthcare reform/cell phones/tap water I'm going to lie down on the treadmill and let the belt slowly wear my face off.

Sorry. Was that too graphic? If you need a treadmill related laugh to make up for said graphic-ness click here.

I feel like there are/may be a lot of changes coming up for me. Of course, I can't be overly specific until I have some concrete evidence, but let this serve as a teaser for you. Jen Paul is officially taking charge of her life. After waiting and waiting and waiting it's finally time to start MAKING things HAPPEN. (please excuse the all caps- I'm usually anti-excessive capitalization, but I'm really excited here.)

or something like that.

In all seriousness, I feel way more in control than I have in a while. There is so much possibility for this summer, next year...and even beyond that. I think the fact that I am working SO hard to make changes is what makes all of this so exciting. :) I mean, last year at this time I was scared shitless. Sure, I was graduating from an amazing college, but I had no job and the market was essentially laughing in my face while presenting it's two giant middle fingers.

This year, things are a lot more stable. I'm getting myself healthy (sloooowlly but surely) and I am employed at a school that I love. I'm starting to research grad schools. And, I'm figuring out what I want to do with my life (at least right now. This could all change in t minus 5 minutes.)

The only thing that could make this better is if my cali- bestie (and my lone reader from what I can tell :)  was here to share ONE pokey stick with me (before I tossed out the rest and quickly made a salad before my taste buds could get the better of me) and talk about all the things that make our lives just a LITTE bit east of average.

But I suppose laughing cross-countr-ily over fat cats on treadmills will have to do.